Close up of dandelion plant blowing in wind

I’m sending this to wish you a Happy 2018 and to share with you some thoughts on the new year and some resources to help you make it one of your best.

I love this time of year because of the new possibilities that come with a fresh new year and a fresh start. New year’s resolutions are something that many people make, and many people forget. If you’re someone who doesn’t want to change anything in your life, that’s perfectly fine, too. But some people say they don’t want to make resolutions because they always seem to “fail,” or they don’t want to have to change themselves, and if this is more your reasoning,

I’d like to reassure you that it’s easier to make changes in your life (not necessarily “yourself” but in your habits) than you may think, and that there’s a simple change that can really help you to harness the momentum of the new year and the resolutions of those you know who may help you to stay motivated. This change involves shifting the way you think about your goals. If you find yourself slipping, instead of giving up and feeling like you’ve “failed,” remember that at whatever point you notice you’ve slipped is the perfect opportunity to get back to your goals. You may have to change a few things to make the goals more reachable, and that’s fine–it’s just part of the process.

The main thing to remember is that if you really want to make a change in your life, it’s very doable if you just don’t give up or–above all–beat yourself up if you don’t succeed immediately.

This article on making changes in the new year can give you a great start in beginning to consider the changes you’d like to see in your life, whether there are several or just one.

In the coming days, I’ll send more on the other how to make changes and dream, and you’ll be able to build a plan that you’re happy with, and follow it. You can also, as always, find more ideas about making changes (including a life coach plan and goal template) as well as other stress-related issues by reading my book, 8 Keys to Stress Management. In addition to providing a large amount of research-backed information on stress, it can help you to create a plan that works for your specific needs, personality, and lifestyle and then put it into action.

You can reach all of your goals this year!

There are many reasons to make changes in your life, and two of the best are to improve health and to increase happiness. Learning more effective ways to manage stress can lead to both; conversely, working toward either of these goals can also help you to manage stress. It’s a great win-win!

While it’s well-known that many New Year’s Resolutions tend to ultimately “fail,” it’s also true that there are several effective ways to make it easier to create changes in your life. For example, setting the right goals for yourself can lead to greater success–be sure that they’re specific, attainable, and in line with what you really want. Gaining an adequate level of support can make a big difference too.

Here are 5 ways to adopt healthy habits in the new year, which are simple to enact in your life and are proven effective.

In the coming days, I’ll send more on the other how to make changes and dream, and you’ll be able to build a plan that you’re happy with, and follow it. You can also, as always, find more ideas about making changes (including a life coach plan and goal template) as well as other stress-related issues by reading my book, 8 Keys to Stress Management. In addition to providing a large amount of research-backed information on stress, it can help you to create a plan that works for your specific needs, personality, and lifestyle and then put it into action.

Close up of dandelion plant blowing in wind

September is known as “Self-Improvement Month,” and it’s just around the corner. While you’re fantastic the way you are, there are ways you can change your thoughts, habits, and behavior that can transform your life to a more joyous and less stressful one, which is something that can benefit almost everyone. Small steps can bring significant change, and those are the ones we’re going to focus on.

In the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing tips in my Daily Piece of Peace newsletter that can help you to make shifts in your thoughts–shifting that inner critic into a cheerleader without sacrificing realism, focusing on the resources you have in your life so you’re more able to access them, and things like that. We’ll also focus on actions–small habits you can enact that will make your day easier and your resilience stronger. We’ll even take on emotional baggage and find ways to sort through what’s there and process stress in a healthy way as it happens. You can sign up for these brief near-daily pick-me-ups that offer small but actionable steps and useful information, or you can stick with this once- or twice-a-month newsletter that brings larger ideas and a higher concentration of links to your fingertips. Or you can do both!

For now, in preparation for Self-Improvement Month, I’d like to give you an idea that can help you make the most of the month and of your life. Here goes:

• Write down what you love about your life, your personality, and your daily experiences. (This can be a bullet list of three or thirty things, a paragraph in your journal, or an expression of whatever sort works best for you, as long as you think about it and jot something down.)
• Write down what you’d like to change about your life, your personality, or your daily experience. This can be something like, “I would like to have more time,” or “I would like to be more positive” or “I’d like to feel happier day-to-day.”
• Now go over your second list and decide what you’d like to work on in the month of September, what you’d like to take steps toward changing.
• Then look at your first list and remind yourself that you’ve created so much already, and have so many personal abilities and resources, you’ll be able to create this change in your life, too.
• Look for my next emails and decide to take steps toward putting some of the information and ideas into action. That’s it–but that’s enough for now!

If you’d like to make more changes now, you can find tons of useful information, actionable steps, and even templates for stress management game plans in my book, 8 Keys to Stress Management, published by W.W. Norton as part of their 8 Keys to Mental Health series.

I hope you have a wonderful day and month ahead! Savor your day

Have you ever felt so frustrated you felt like throwing a phone across the room?

Stress can lead to frustration, anger, and the desire to punch something (like a pillow when you get home while fantasizing it’s someone’s face, perhaps). Sometimes a stressful day can get so intense that the fantasy to throw a vase across the room or take a hammer to a table setting feels irresistible. Perhaps unsurprisingly, there’s a relatively new outlet for this kind of feeling: anger rooms.

Anger rooms are places that are designed for stressed people to come in and act out their fantasies of destruction. You can work through your anger and frustration by literally destroying things that are in a room designed for such activities. These places are popping up all over the country in major cities coast to coast. But are they helpful?

As I like to do, I decided to research whether these rooms are helpful, harmful, or merely hype, and I’ve shared what I’ve learned in this article about anger rooms.  I invite you to learn more by reading up. I also encourage you to find more than just one outlet for anger and frustration (like exercise, journaling and talking to a good friend) and find ways to manage and prevent these feelings.

You can also, as always, end your day reading my book, 8 Keys to Stress Management. In addition to providing a large amount of research-backed information on stress, it can help you to create a plan that works for your specific needs, personality, and lifestyle and then put it into action.

Have a great day, and I hope it leaves you with few complaints!
—Elizabeth

P. S. If you someone you know can benefit from this info, please feel free to pass this along!

Apps can be great for relaxation. Here’s why.

If you’re reading this, it means you’re being proactive with stress management, which is a huge step in the right direction. Reading about stress management can help you to better understand the role of stress in your life and how to best manage it. One sticking point for many people that impedes their stress management efforts is the simple strategy of putting into action what you now know. It’s vital to adopt habits to manage stress.

You may already know about the importance of habits, but here’s a quick cheat sheet. Habits are vital for making change because simple will power alone can be difficult to maintain. If you make something a habit in your life, it becomes automatic. You don’t have to think about it as much or decide each time that you are going to do this thing; you don’t have to rely on motivation to get yourself to do what’s right for you when you’re busy and tired. It becomes something you do without thinking.

That’s where apps can help. They can help you to take what you’ve learned about stress management beyond simple knowledge and into the realm of action and habit. For example, I am a night owl. I know that I need to get enough sleep at night or I begin to feel stress more strongly the next day in the form of increased emotional reactivity and decreased mental acuity. But it’s difficult to get into the habit of getting enough sleep. When I started tracking my sleep, it became a habit to check my sleep and adjust my schedule to ensure I was getting enough. Checking the app became a habit and getting enough sleep became easier. There are several ways that apps can work for you, but this is one example.

For more recommended apps that can really help with stress management, check out this article on stress relief apps that can change your life. You can also, as always, find more in my book, 8 Keys to Stress Management. In addition to providing a large amount of research-backed information on stress, it can help you to create a plan that works for your specific needs, personality, and lifestyle and then put it into action.

Have a great day, and see what apps work best for you.

Video games can be fun and stress-relieving as well. I play several online for free.

Today, officially, is Video Games Day, and you may be surprised to hear that this can help you with stress. Video games get a lot of bad press (some of it deserved) but they can bring real benefits as well. Some games are geared toward building brain power, relieving tension, and sharpening thinking skills. These can be great to play and can create a fun outlet for stress relief. But those “regular” video games–the ones that aren’t marketed as brain boosters or stress relievers–can be beneficial as well. Here are some of the benefits of games:

They’re fun.  Fun activities are important for balance. As much as we need leisure time, we also need good old mood-boosting fun. (Remember how a good mood can build your resilience to stress?) This means that a game you really enjoy can bring an emotional lift, particularly if you play in moderation.

Thay take your mind off of stress.  We can get stuck in rumination mode all too often. Video games can help you take your mind off of stress and get it into the present moment. This present-focus can help minimize chronic stress and bring the benefits of flow.

Yes, “flow.” If you’re not familiar with the concept of flow as it pertains to stress relief, it’s that state of mind when you’re perfectly engaged in a challenge that’s not too difficult and not too simple. These activities, when they engage our minds and our skills, can help us feel happier and more alive, and can relieve stress as well.

For more information on the benefits of video games, read my (linked) article on Verywell. You can also find more in-depth information and planning strategies in my book, 8 Keys to Stress Management. If you need some game ideas, I’ve included some in the article, but my current favorites are Animal Crossing (I’m still playing New Leaf off and on and have been since it was released in 2012), Pokemon, and these free online games:

• 2048: You smoosh numbers on a grid together, they multiply, and you try to keep the game going until you reach 2048. There’s a little more to it than that (use the arrows on your keyboard and you’ll figure it out really quickly), and you can develop some strategy, but it’s fun, not too challenging (but still challenging enough), and you can play for 30 minutes or 3. Great for a mental break.
• Word Wipe: This one is free from USAToday (they have a great collection) and it’s basically “Boggle” meets “Tetris.” You find words, they disappear as you connect the letters and the remaining numbers move down the board. The goal is to remove more and more rows of letters each round. I love it.
• Daily Crossword Puzzle: I found Word Wipe because I was completing the daily crossword puzzle on USAToday. I’m a huge fan of these puzzles as one of my grandfathers would complete one every day in pen and his mind remained sharp as a tack until he passed at age almost-97. It’s a family tradition, and it can keep your mind sharp. (Yes, I know this isn’t a traditional “video game” but it’s played online so I’m including it.)

Okay, you may know of some more video games that you like even better, so I encourage you to play these as well as your

Savor your day

—Elizabeth

I’m a big fan of observing holidays–the big important ones as well as the lesser-known ones–and today is no exception. Because it’s “Tell An Old Joke” Day, it’s the perfect time to share your favorite jokes and the laughs that come with them. Sharing jokes can help with stress for several reasons, making old jokes a valuable stress reliever that shouldn’t be overlooked. Here are some of the reasons why:

Laughter Is Great For You. It can work out your abs (obviously) but it can also reduce stress hormones and increase immunity. It can shift your perspective as well. Read on for more details on the benefits of laughter.

Shared Laughs Strengthen Relationships (Which Are Also Great For You).  Victor Borge once said, “The shortest distance between two people is a smile,” and the same can be said for laughter. Because strong relationships are so important for overall happiness and resilience, anything that brings you closer to your friends and loved ones is a good thing.

Laughter Lifts Your Mood–And Your Resilience.  Research on mood tells us that anything that lifts your mood as the strong potential to build your resilience to stress. This becomes even truer over time. That means laughter can make your stronger and less stressed.

Jokes Make Stress Relief Contagious.  Simply put, when you make others laugh (and telling old jokes is a surprisingly effective way to do this, even if people are just laughing at the goofiness of it) is a simple and obvious way to help others reap all of these benefits.

Jokes Are Fun. Fun Stress Relief Habits Are Easy To Maintain. One of the more challenging aspects of stress management is that stress relief habits aren’t always easy to maintain. This one is.

For more information on laughter as a stress reliever and how to get more fun into your life, read my (linked) articles on Verywell. You can also find more in-depth information and planning strategies in my book, 8 Keys to Stress Management. If you need some jokes to get you started, here are some of my favorite old jokes:

Q: Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
A: Because they’re really good at it!

Q: What’s red and smells like blue paint?
A: Red paint.

Q: What do you call bears with no ears?
A: B

Okay, I’m sure you know some that can top these, so go out and share them!

Savor your day

—Elizabeth

Meditation carries so many benefits, it’s a technique that really is worth checking out. (For motivation, you can read more about these benefits here.) With practice, it brings quick physical relaxation and resilience toward stress over time. But on the way to obtaining that practice, there are a few challenges that some people encounter.

One challenge about meditation that explains why everyone isn’t doing it daily, is that it can be stressful for perfectionists and other types of people. Meditation involves clearing the mind of any thoughts. This includes thoughts about how you’re doing with that mind-clearing. If you’re focused on “doing it right” to the point where it takes you out of the “zone” when you notice that your mind has wandered, or if you become frustrated with yourself when you realize that you’ve again “failed” to be a meditation master, meditation can become a stress-exacerbating practice, particularly if you’re new to the practice.

Fortunately, there are things you can do to make things easier on yourself. One of them is to understand how meditation can create stress. Another is to know what to do about this. Easing your way into it with a 5-minute meditation can help too.

Today, I recommend that you try one of these three options (read about the challenges meditation, what to do about them, or how to meditate for short periods of time) which are linked in the paragraph above. If this sounds like more than you have time for right now, I recommend that you come back to it later, but for now, clear your mind for the count of 20, imagining “peace” entering your body as you inhale and stress leaving your body with each exhale. And enjoy your day!

—Elizabeth