Vent Frustrations the Right Way

Journaling your frustrations can be a way to process them. (It’s just not as fun to read later as a gratitude journal–trust me.)

Do you see yourself as a complainer? (Or do you think of it as ‘venting frustrations’ or ‘seeking support’ rather than just complaining?) If you find yourself complaining–a little or a lot–about the frustrations and stresses of your life, there’s good news and bad news.

The Good News
The good news is that you’re far from alone–most people complain (or vent or seek support) about life’s frustrations on a fairly regular basis. The better news is that there are several legitimately good reasons for doing so. For example, bouncing your troubles off of another person can help you gain perspective, it can help you let off steam and approach the situation with more patience, and it can provide you with solutions if your listener is supportive and has great advice. This is part of why we do it, and shouldn’t beat ourselves up over it.

The Bad News
Yes, there’s obvious bad news, and that is that it’s easy to fall into the trap of complaining too much. When you cross that line, either venting too often or too intensely, you can do some damage. The problem can start to feel bigger than it is. You can stress out your friends. You can develop a more pessimistic outlook. You can make yourself more angry and your listener burned out on hearing about it, both of which can distance you from others and exacerbate stress levels. These are all reasons that can motivate you to find a better balance if you feel yourself sliding into the dark side that is the habit of complaining too much.

Back to Good News
Yes, it’s always better to have good news, and the good news here is that there are several simple ways to get out of the habit of complaining. One is to focus on the positive and keep a gratitude journal. (Yes, I’ve been mentioning them a lot lately, but I’ve always loved this habit and research shows that it really does help many things in many ways.) You can also shift your focus to literally anything else, and use techniques like “thought-stopping” to help yourself do so. For more in how, see this article on how to cut down on complaining.